it's scary growing up

i feel old =(

i felt it today when i was on a bus headed for town. don't know why... just suddenly thought about my friend who's getting married soon, and i was thinking of what her mom would wear to the wedding =b and then... suddenly it popped into my head that her mom is probably about 55, while me mom is probably 58 already. and it suddenly occured to me that my parents are growing, well, old.

duh, of course my parents are growing old - it's a natural human phenomenon right?

but i just never thought about it ... as vividly as this morning. like suddenly i could envision them with their hair turning white (my dad's hair is practically snowy already!) and sitting in front of the telly the whole day... or staring out of the windows for hours and reminiscing about the life they had... it was just pretty depressing

what will i do without my parents? i really don't know...

i'll feel lost probably. and lonely. and... responsible.

well after all that thinking, i came to the conclusion that i really need to love my parents more. i mean, i do - but, well, i could try to be a lot more patient with them. and spend more time really getting to know them. and meanwhile, i think i suddenly realised the importance of knowing about taxes and GST and how bills are paid and how houses and cars are bought and... all that sorta thing which my dad usually takes care of...

yeah...

so i really should get off my butt for starters, and go learn driving... =)

anyway thank God i wasn't depressed for long =) cos he reminded me that He's my eternal "Daddy" and He'll be with me through the storms of life and such, and will walk through all this with me, holding my hand. so i dun feel so scared anymore. =)