we all have choices we have to make

the past 3 days have been really relaxing =) i was at alpha camp - a 3D2N stay-over at chalet for all new staff and stinters, where we have some main sessions taught, as well as get to know each other better.

i really enjoyed the fun and games we had - some really cool and hilarious group games... monopoly... sardines (which really freaked me out! i was clinging on to grace the whole time...)

but more than all that, i really enjoyed the times of rest i had. liting (another new staff) and i had attended quite a few of the sessions during our stint year, so we were given time off. so i spent the time blissfully slumped in my bed, reading the first of our huge stack of required readings.

"changes that heal" by dr. henry cloud.

it's an awesome book! i really feel so amazed as i am discovering so many things about myself and others as i read it.

the ways i manipulate people, unknowingly and knowingly... the way i overstep boundaries and fail to guard my own... the ways i allow others to overstep their boundaries and make me feel pressured into doing something... the ways i sometimes deny that i have a choice in a situation - when God always gives us a choice.

here's some excerpts:

"To own and make our own choices, we must be aware of all the aspects of ourselves that go into any decision."

"If we do not feel like we have a choice, we feel we are out of control of our lives, and we resent the ones we perceive as being in control of us."

"If we feel responsible for other people's displeasure, we are being controlled by others, not God."

"We are to be responsible to others, not for them."

"Whenever we feel pressured by someone to do something, it is our problem and not the problem of the one who is trying to put pressure on."



choices... it's interesting, empowering and scary to know that i have them. not just in 'big' things like what career to choose, but even in things like allowing others to learn from their mistakes instead of always stepping in to help, or taking responsibility for my own anger, instead of blaming it on others.

so... that's been a really good read.

now i have more choices to make. some stuff has cropped up at work, HR issues... so... i am faced with a few choices to make. i feel very scared of having to make some of these decisions, and i honestly feel that i am being placed in a very difficult position. but i do understand too that my leadership is also in a difficult position. so it's all quite frustrating...

please pray for wisdom, and for me to really trust God for the choices to come.