disappointed

it's been a fruitful day of writing at work. but somehow... feel a bit in the doldrums.

i guess cos my bubble was burst. just 5 minutes ago. sigh...

i would love to take on a particular challenge at work. i would love to push myself to see how far i can go. i would love to learn a new skill.

BUT, and it's a bit 'but'...

there are others better than me...

and also, i can't expect to do everything i am passionate about. i can't, right?

right.

i shouldn't have allowed myself to hope. to entertain the dream of becoming something... more...

slowly accepting the inevitable conclusion. it sucks, but that's life.

c'est la vie yes?

haiz.

dreams do go up in smoke. it hurts to see them fade away... but i know my God is faithful. as noel puts it in his testimony: He will go through thick and thin with me!

dear God. only YOU really know how i feel right now. only You really understand me. help me to find my significance and joy in You, not in what i do, or in who I become. help me to truly believe that You know best! i know that there are new dreams and challenges on the horizon. i can't see them yet, but You do. =)

thank You for loving me. i know You care about my feelings, and You are here with me. i put my trust in You, my hope in You.