christmas is a time to love

today is christmas day.

i must admit. it was kind of a sad day.

ok it wasn't THAT bad lah. it was actually quite nice in the sense that it was relaxing and great weather (except for the little outburst of rain). and i'm really so thankful for each and every one of my friends with whom i shared a laugh, a hug, a friendly hand shake or poke throughout the day.

i got lots of little gifts and cards from my dearest choirlets. ok, some history here. i started the youth choir two years back, going into it with zilch know-how or experience in how to run a ministry. =b looking back, i probably would have said 'no' when approached by uncle roland to take it on. but at that time, i was happily oblivious to the trials and difficulties that are part and parcel of any ministry - expecially one that deals with youth.

ove the past two years, it's been a joyful struggle for me going through each practice and performance. struggle cos i faced a lot of expectations (there had been a youth choir in my church previously which had set a very high standard) and i had a lot of unrealistic expectations on my part too. and youth these days are so swamped with school and extra-curricular activities and tuition etc that it was hard to demand of them the commitment i felt is needed.

tomorrow will be our last performance. =(

and the joy?

i love my little choirlets. i love each and every one of them. they are all so precious and special and have been such an important part of my life for the past 2 years, it feels like i am the one who is 'destroying' the dream, by initiating its end, but i really do feel that it's best for all concerned. they need room to grow, to experiment, to try out new things, to be comfortable with themselves... and all the stuff that youths (even me) struggle with. they need to discover what they really like - be it singing, playing music, drama or dance. and being in a ministry like this constrains them, because they can't try out other stuff that they might really be good at.

and i don't think i can cope with it on my own anymore. i'm tired. really really tired. it's lonely being at the top. and scary cos they're all looking up to you, and... i don't want to struggle through it anymore.

over the two years, i have scolded them (a lot!), laughed with them, pulled them around (literally =b), laughed with them, cried with them, shared their excitement, shared their problems, felt like killing them sometimes... and loved them. but i'm just been so blessed by them. they've taught me how to stay optimistic, when so many around me are cynical and critical. they've trained me to be patient =b and to plan performances better. they've encouraged me verbally and in writing, and by just turning up for practice when they don't feel like it.

i don't regret my decision to start choir one bit. it changed me, it changed my life, it made me a better person. and the knowledge i've gained and the friends i've made are more priceless than all those Sunday afternoon naps i could have taken!

so now... it's a different ball game. the lights have dimmed on the centre of the stage, and gone on on stage right. - the musicians side. yup, i will moving to a new ministry. not sure what to call it, but i will helping in the musician training for youth, as we really need the younger batches to come forward to lead in worship. looking forward to it, especially as i'm not the person-in-charge, but just a helper along the way =)

i hope some of my choirlets will go for this training to explore their potential =)

meanwhile... i'm also happy that Jon told me how to upload my photos to here =) yay... so here are some shots from a trip i took earlier this year. i really love taking things and people, rather than events and groups. enjoy!

i don't know why but i just love brick walls. so much more warmth than tinny metal scaffolding or plastic boards.

leaning against a wall.



cute kids


chickens in a cage in the marketplace, awaiting their dismal fate... heh heh heh

row of colourful shophouses.