.tuesday.

this morning i woke up nice and late (830am) cos i was up late last night chatting to mel =b hee... didn't go for the john piper session in the morning, cos it's really too much info for me. instead, i took his book and had my own personal retreat at starbucks.

really glad i made that choice. cos the book is so much easier for me to grasp than his talk! i think i'm a person who thinks slow generally... as in i process things more. so it's hard to track with a message that's so cheem and theological. but reading is easier cos i can pause and ponder and reflect.

yup. after that i went for the talk by a staff who serves in egypt. he shared with us how the ministry is over there, the struggles and persecution they face, the suffering they go thru, the interrogation he himself wen thru...

listening to him, i just felt so grateful for the freedom we have in singapore, and in so many parts of the world too. and sad for the muslims in these countries that have such a hard road to accepting Christ. it's so tragic how many lives are blinded by fear, by prejudice, by hate.

he also challenged us to really love our neighbours. i think it was very brave of him to do that, esp in a room full of americans. he asked us to really love the muslims in our community. and to fervently pray for them, and seek to love them as Jesus does.

after that i had a long lunch mtg with sara. it was pretty packed with discussion of new bands and programs and all that has to be done in the days, weeks, months ahead. came out of it feeling such a mixed bag of emotions - excited, scared, overwhelmed, grateful, fearul, frustrated, overwhelmed...

God, i know You want to teach me something from all this. thank You for bringing me through all these situations and emotions. please guide me to make the choices You want me to make!



** PLEASE NOTE: some of you might think that i have a lot of free time. well, i do! i realised i haven't really made it clear to my dear supporters what the schedule is like. i myself didn't know until registration two days ago.

backtrack a bit first... last week when i was in indiana, that was NOT part of the conference. and please be assured that i did NOT raise support for those days of fun and relaxation. it was my own treat to myself - a welcome respite from the busy months of work. =)

ok so now in csu...

basically monday and tuesday are campus days. this means, there are sessions in the mornings and evenings, compulsory for all campus staff to attend. the evenings are very campus-focused, like on DG and mentorship, so i do not go for those, since it really had little effect or relation to my ministry in ForeRunner. i do try to go for the morning sessions, cos although they are campus-focused too, they are a bit more general and more inspirational rather than technical skills.

thursday night the full conference starts.

friday onwards, we have worship and devotions in the mornings, seminars in the afternoon (we can choose which to attend and how many we want to attend) and another message in the evenings. this part of the conference, all the messages are aimed at the heart. that is, it is not ministry-related, but soul-related. in other words, it is a time for us to grow, not as STAFF, but as SERVANTS.

i am really looking forward to that time of refreshment, recharging and rekindling of my passion for God and for missions. my prayer is that, as John Piper urges in his book that i'm reading now, i will find true and total joy in my God, that everything else i say, do and think will be an outflow of that joy, and not based on a list of dos and don'ts.

so i just wanna make things clear. yes, i will be spending some of that free time shopping or relaxing. but i do know that my main aim here is to meet with God. that doesn't mean i have to attend every talk and every seminar conceivable or stay in the room with my bible the whole day. because this is a very precious time of retreat and relaxing as well!

it's kind of hard to put into words what i mean to say lah... but i do do DO appreciate all your prayers and i am really trusting God to teach me many things during this time, and at the same time to give me an enjoyable time with friends here.

=)