different is not bad

was reminded of this truth yesterday at sunday school teachers' training on youth culture. different really isn't bad. if so, every generation is bad, because every generation changes, trends change, fashion changes... but our human insecurities never change, our need for significance, acceptance and approval too - it's just that we handle it in different ways when we get older. by no means 'better' ways - just more under the cover.

for eg. a teenager might to win her friend's admiration, so she pierces her nose. an adult businesswoman also wants to show that she has what it takes, hence her overpriced louis vuitton bag nonchalently dangles on her arm. a boy wants to have fun, so he gives up on that very difficult maths problem and goes off to play football with his friends. a grown man 'organises' exercise time into his weekly routine for 'health purposes' only, but really, all he wants is to rub shoulders and tackle his friends on the field.

so. interesting to see how we handle things differently. not 'better' - just different =)

it was a pretty humbling reminder to me, as i saw that i really have no right to judge the older or younger generations based on such things. i must learn to embrace the unique qualities of each generation, and see why they do the things they do.

this lesson carried on into my personal retreat today. among the things i was mulling over and praying over, was my rship with mel.

he left this morning for perth, by the way. but it's just a short business trip.

anyways, i was thinking about some issues. and one that had been troubling me a bit for a while. that was.. that i always found myself suggesting that he read a certain book that i found very insightful, but he never suggested such stuff to me. i felt like, am i 'force-feeding' him, is he just not interested in exploring more of the Christian faith etc.?

yes, very judgmental of me. but the thought got me down anyhow. i didn't want to always be the one suggesting that we read things to learn spiritually. i didn't want to always initiate that.

then, God reminded me. yes, mel doesn't volunteer such info on good books. yes, i always suggest such stuff to read. BUT maybe it's because we have different ways of ingesting info!

i remembered that mel is always telling me of his regular visits to the websites of various churches, where he downloads their messages to watch on his comp. he also regularly checks out performances by willowcreek church online. and he has often shared his thoughts with me.

somehow i had forgotten that. he DOES desire and look for spiritual input - just not my way.

reading is just not his natural way of getting info.

and yes, i have learnt things from what he has shared from what he watched before. it just never occurred to me that that was in effect the same things i learnt from books.

so. i realised that we are different. but neither one of us is 'better'. can't really explain, but that revelation was a huge weight of my chest =) all thanks to God! i feel a whole lot better seeing through a new lens, and applying this lesson to our relationship. it feels like i have maybe grown in some small way, and i hope it will help me to judge less superficially and immediately in the future.