exhausted

the day started really quickly for me, with an audition at 9am. and then a 2-hour session on personal grooming conducted by ying kheng.

it was really really fun and interesting. i'm apparently a low contrast summer gal. =) that means i get to wear all the pinks and blues which i love, but i should veer towards the bluer tones, and avoid bright or primary colours. and i should wear off-white instead of pure white, silver instead of gold, greys instead of black.

that last bit of info was quite a shocker to me, cos my wardrobe is like one-third black! but as she held up the various coloured cloth up to my face, i really could see the difference wearing colours that suit me make. it really makes one look more alive, more fresh, healthier too. =)

oh yeah, and i was very excited to discover that i look really good in a particular shade of medium turquoise. =D yeah... i've never tried that colour on anything before... but i really love it! haha... so the next time i buy anything, i'm gonna keep that in mind.

after that... had a nice lunch wif simon and joy... and then we had a meeting about what my role in forerunner will be like over the next few months. kind of like ironed out some details and crystallised what my focus is. that was a good time for me, cos i also understood more of forerunner's existing working frameworks and structures etc.

then... we spent a couple of hours discussing the selection for this year's Ultimate Road Trip. it was a good experience for me... although i felt quite mentally drained by the process. thank God for guiding us through the process! but somehow, after it was all over, i felt kind of worn out. like... all my energy sapped.

i guess partly i realised just how inexperienced i am and yet how much i want to contribute to things... so it was kind of frustrating for me. like feeling like, why can't i say the right things at the right time, why can't i see the bigger picture, and do people think less of me because of that?

all these questions were in going on in my mind ony the long bus ride back, which has resulted in a headache =(

yet i know this is good. i know that i need to learn from situations and experiences like this. but it's hard. God, I need You, I can't do it on my own...