no mere dot

i woke up still thinking about the discussion last night. it was like my mind hadn't switched off even though i had been physically sleeping! anyway, woke up all grouchy and brain-tired, and thinking about that same question. sigh...

so it really took a lot of effort to get off the bed and get ready for work and focus on God and the day ahead... and then, He reminded me.

3 years ago, at one of my camps, we had this tee shirt that had the slogan "no mere dot" it went something like: "my life is a dot, on the long line of eternity."

all we see here on this earth, and in this life, is really only that small dot. we are confined by that dot, in time and space, in imagination and wisdom. so why am i so concerned about what the future holds, when really all that matters is the here and now.

what i mean is that, i guess i really need His grace to accept that some things and answers are just beyond my reach. i want to live in the 'here and now', enjoying and appreciating each season and phase of my life, the people in my life now, the decisions i make today.

yes, everything leads to something else, and we should still have an eternal perspective. but not at the expense of the present moment, which is an irrevocable and irreplaceable gift of God to us.

so, while i probably will come across many such questions and paradoxes to ponder over the remaining years of my life, i hope that i can remember not to let such things weary or overwhelm me such that i forget to live today - this moment - well!

* * *

the day at work was good, and i feel happy that i got a lot accomplished once i was able to take my mind off this. =) and i had a wonderful lunch with my crazy bunch of TURTers (we went for a mission trip together last year) and realised how much time has flown by since we met! i was also moved by the fact that somehow all our paths have crossed, and how great a difference each and everyone has made in my life! *smile*

also had a great time meeting up with my uni gal friends at night =) oh man, how our lives have changed since we left school just 7 months ago. it's kind of sad knowing that we can never go back to that time (not that i want to go back studying though). they've been such a huge part of my life for the past 4 years, and yet i feel sad that i've kind of lost touch with them over the past half a year.

i guess it's really hard to have that same kind of close friendship we had in school days. everyone's just so much busier now, and all over the island (literally) and taking very different paths in life.

but i'm really happy for them - and for me - that we are slowly but surely adjusting to the world that is out there. each one has her own share of politics to grapple with, struggles at work, joys, bgr issues, family concerns etc etc... but it helps to have friends around to share it with =)

* * *

ok now i shall go focus on what's left of American Idol. =D haha, those people are hilarious man =b