byebye 2005, hello 2006

the past few days have just whirled by so fast! Christmas eve... Christmas Day.. Boxing day... and today is the last day of the year!

Love A Kepala season ended on 24th, and we had a time of thanksgiving and gorging on the 27th (on turkey with cranberry sauce and gravy, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and apple crisp with ice cream). i really am amazed at how God has really led each one of us in the team on our own personal journey with Him. personal affirmations and lessons He wanted us to learn. =) for me, it was all about learning to lead with confidence and trusting God to work all things out in His time.

i really feel like it has been an incredible ride. every time i think i have it 'all under control', something would happen to make me panic, and i'd have no alternative but to just turn to God. looking back, things happened just the way they did for all the right reasons, and God was working in our hearts through all the good and bad times we faced together.

Christmas day was really nice and 'homely'. i spent the whole day with my family. it was good for a change, to not go out, not meet friends, not go caroling with church (as i've been doing for the past 11 years...). instead, i went to church in the morning. mel came too! =D then it was on to my grandma's place for lunch. She had catered a buffet, and invited a couple of her friends and my uncle's friends. so it was quite a huge group of 20plus for lunch. the lunch was good.

then mel had to leave to get back to camp (poor poor mel), but i stayed on at gran's and we all watched tv and chatted until dinner time. haha! so nice to just SLACK...

dinner was remnants of lunch. didn't eat much cos still felt stuffed =b

26th we had ngam prac in the afternoon. then i watched narnia with mel =) i know the acting was pretty crappy, especially peter and susan (lucy isn't bad rite), but i really felt so touched at the scene where Aslan sacrifices himself that i started sniffling. it was an amazing moment for me, and one that wil characterize and serve as a landmark for this Christmas for me.

It was meaningful, because just that morning i'd prayed that God would show me His love in some tangible way. cos for some time, i've not really experienced His love tangibly. or rather, i haven't had time to really notice. just been caught up with activities and busyness.

but when that scene played, i just felt so unbelievably moved by the parallels with Jesus' sacrifice for me, and all the torment and shame that He had to face, that i was just so touched. =) thank You God, for that special moment. and i'm glad mel was there to share it with me!

so... fast forward to the 30th. i spent the afternoon in personal retreat. it was really a nice time. i went to cartel at city hall, and got myself a little cubby, and spent a couple of hours reading through my journal entries for december 2004 and some parts of 2005. ate a waldorf salad and apple cinnamon cocoa so i wouldn't be chased out...

it was great to look back and be reminded of how God has been with me this past year. i remember feeling so afraid and uncertain about what the future would hold at this time last year. and now, i have a job i love, someone special in my life, a family that loves me, a bunch of awesome colleagues and friends, and a laptop! =) and a blog that's still alive!!! =D

how blessed am i!

so... 2006 looms up. in just 10 hours more it will be next year. i really don't know what to expect, what changes, storms and moments of happiness this new year will bring. just trusting God, one day at a time...


into your hand
i commit again
with all I am
for you Lord

you hold my world
in the palm of your hand
and I'm yours forever

Jesus I believe in you
Jesus I belong to you
you're the reason that I live
the reason that I sing
with all I am

I'll walk with you
wherever you go
through tears and joy
I'll trust in you

and I will live
in all of your ways and
your promises forever

Jesus I believe in you
Jesus I belong to you
you're the reason that I live
the reason that I sing
with all I am

merry Christmas with love

blessed Christmas to any and all who read this blog =)

it's been a wonderful day spent with family, mel and slacking in front of tv in the evening. i love princess diaries and sweet home alabama =) my kind of romance.

just feeling melancholic now. i feel blessed. =) i feel loved.

even when friends disappoint, when projects get messy, when things don't go the way i hope... yet Christmas reminds me that i am still loved.

how blessed am i!

on a side note, Christmas gifts on Christmas day always make me happy. =) they're not the reason for the season, but they sure do add to that special feeling of being loved. my fav gifts so far this year:

1. turquoise tunic

2. crystal and gold plated cross jewellery box

3. retro looking tweed clutch

4. turquoise/blue crystal ring

5. rainbow birkies from mel!!! =)

thank you everyone, for showering me with your love, well wishes and gifts.

merry Christmas!

dec newsletter out!

read all about my tokyo trip in my latest update!

do pray for me, i've got a nasty cough that erupts every now and then. like on the bus on the way to work... *red face*

we have a gig tonight, and one more tomorrow! and i can't believe it's ONLY TWO DAYS TO CHRISTMAS!!!

=)

my pics are out!

well almost. i have half a roll more to use up before i can develope my last 10 shots. =) here are a few treasured moments from my trip.

on a personal note, God has been teaching me more about surrendering control to Him through this trip, through Sharon, through A Kepala etc... i feel so inadequate at times, so fallen short, but He is always there to affirm me and assure me that He will bring all that He has planned to pass =)





above: my team; giving out cds to passers-by
below: sharon giving cds; our cute recipients!









oishii yuki ichigo! (literally translated snow strawberry cake)





my friends from japan (fr L) ryo, ohno, kotarou, haramichi =)

below: having fun!



the lights of tokyo - along takashimaya square.

back from my adventures...

yes it's been a whirlwind, incredible, couldn't-have-asked-for-more 4 days! i'm back from japan.

it really was wonderful being back in this country that has captured my heart for so long. just walking along the streets was a thrill (and a chill! brrr...), watching them walk along in their trendy coats and scarves, hearing them talk, seeing the way they laugh, the way they smile, the way they frown, the way they talk to their friends, to their kids, to their colleagues...

i just love the japanese culture!

tracting was a lot harder than i thought. people were cold, so their hands were in their pockets, and i could see it took energy for them to take their hands out to take a cd from us. also, the japanese always seem to be rushing to one place from another - you seldom see someone aimlessly strolling along. so in their hurry, it was also harder to catch their attention and get them to stop to take a cd.

the cold made it harder. really cold... i was shivering at some points! my teeth felt cold! our hands and toes went numb. haha.... but all part of the experience!

it was also tiring to smile constantly, despite rejection, and to keep saying the same phrase "merry christmas!" about a hundred times over the few hours we were out there...

so, that was the work part.

the fun part were the late afternoons-evenings. my friends ohno, haramichi and kotarou were AMAZING hosts! they really went out of their way to show us around, bring us to eat delicious food, and patiently waited when we wanted to shop or take pictures! (i can't wait to post some up)

they are really such sweet guys. i love them to bits! the last night, i was really sad that we would have to say goodbye again. i had to keep reminding myself not to be silly and cry. but it was such an honour to have the chance to pray for them, for their walk with God and their futures.

just a very simple prayer, but i can tell it meant a lot to them. it also meant so much to me, because i am filled with thanksgiving that God has not let these precious sheep of His fall out of His hand over the past 4 years. He has been faithfully watching over them, protecting them, nurturing them, loving them.

it's a miracle that they continue to walk with Him, because many new believers in Japan often backslide very easily. so i am so so happy for them!!!

unspeakable joy =)

we saw the bright lights of the Christmas decor.

the short skirts and high boots of school girls.

the beautiful south terrace at shinjuku

the view from maranouchi building, including tokyo tower, the port, the emperor's palace

the bustling streets of harajuku and ikebukuro

the crowded trains and subways, where people were packed like sardines!

the lone girl or guy at the station, looking so lost in life, so desperate to look cool, so afraid to fall...

the swarms of business men and women along the streets, always hurrying, never stopping to enjoy life.

the hearts and souls that God has been faithfully looking after these 4 years. i know they will be with me in Heaven.

my personal decision at the end of the trip? i pray that i won't have to wait another 4 years pass before i return to this special country. thank You God for bringing me back to Japan.

we have take-off!

we have a confirmed flight for tomorrow morning! about the same time as today's.

thank God.

also managed to change our departure date to one day later, so that we dun just zip in and out in such a hurry.

sharon and i are pretty amazed. God was probably trying to teach us something about faith and letting go. for her, He reminded her that we need to not want to be incontrol of things all the time. and when she shared that with me, i realised that He might be wanting me to let go of my desire to go Japan. maybe that desire was taking the place of wanting to simply please Him and be surrendered to Him.

so. a growing experience? i guess so. =)

looking forward to take-off tomorrow morning!

erm. please pray that we get there in one piece =b

MY FLIGHT GOT CANCELLED!

i feel like i'm in a movie. and not in a very good way.

yes, our flight got cancelled.

this after almost two hours of waiting for the pilot to settle some computer issue (that couldn't be settled in the end, hence the cancellation).

urghhh.

really quite disappointed and frustrated and "why God why?!?!"

sigh.

they're puttiing us on the next plane. but that only leaves tomorrow morning. apparently there are no vacancies on any other couriers from singapore to tokyo. sheesh.

this means we only have 2 + days in tokyo. tomorrow evening, tuesday and wed morning. which is quite a bummer. sigh... but i hope i will still be able to meet up with my friends, and that we can bless the ministry there by our one full day of tracting.


arghhh...

i am grateful for some things. i really am. like how if the computer had gone on the blink when we were in the air instead, it could have been way worse. like how i got a free complimentary breakfast for that wait. like how i have an unexpected day of rest to recover from the busyness of yesterday.

but still... it stings.

i know God must have some reason for allowing this to happen. wish i knew what.

heh.

ah well... couch potato for the day. =)

less tha n 8 hours to take off!

yeah!!! i just finished packing. my little trolley bag is quite full cos of the humongous winter coat that's occupying half the space =b haha... my other stuff take about one quarter space more... and the remaining quarter is empty =) heh heh heh

a friend/supporter just smsed me to wish me well, and to remind me not to get carried away shopping. definitely good advice to heed =)

i'm really excited about seeing all the japanese again. hearing them talk, seeing them walking around, having the chance to talk to them. i hope to have some opportunities to get to know the church members that we'll be tracting with. also excited about meeting up with 3 of my friends from my first trip to Japan in 2001. ohno, ryo and hitomi!=D

they've arranged to take us around on sunday, monday and tuesday night! i hope that amidst all the fun, sharon and i will have the chance to encourage them in their faith, and to share more with hitomi, who has yet to receive Christ.

thank you EVERYONE who has supported me in one way or another through your encouragement, financial support, prayers and well-wishes. =D i won't be bringing my laptop with me, but i'll definitely blog about my experience when i get back on thursday! =D

janne! (see you!)

nihon ni ikmasu!

going to japan!

i leave at the ungodly hour of 600 AM tomorrow morning. haha... dunno how i'm going to wake up man...

soooo excited!!! =D

heh


today is a pretty busy day tho... have checkout later at 230pm. followed by national staff meeting cum Christmas celebration at IMM. oh man... i'll be soo tired tonight. haiz...

still have not found a pair of trackpants to sleep in. hmmm... maybe i should begin to panic =b

thoughts on leadership

Because the leader must always be ahead of his followers, he lives with loneliness.


Fatigue is the price of leadership. Mediocirty is the result of never getting tired.


It does not matter what happens to us, but our reaction to what happens to us is of vital importance.


With such a (humble) response, criticism is turned from a curse into a blessing...


He (the true leader) shows sympathy for the problems of others, but his sympathy fortifies and stimulates; it does not soften and make weak. A spiritual leader will always direct the confidence of others to the Lord.


God delights to lead people, and then, in response to their trust, to show them power that matches every impossible situation.


No one is perfect, and we cannot be right all the time.



--- "Spiritual Leadership" by J Oswald Sanders ---



have you come to the Red sea place in yout life,
where in spite of all you can do,
there is no wya out, there is no way back.
there is no other way but through?
then wait on the Lord with a trust serene
till the night of your fear is gone;
He will send the winds, He will send the floods,
when He says to your soul, "Go on."

in the morning watch, 'neath the lifted cloud,
you shall see but the Lord alone,
when He leads you on from the place of the sea
to a land that you have not known;
and your fears shall pass and your foes have passed,
you shall no more be afraid;
you shall sing His praise in a better place,
a place that His hand has made.

- Annie Johnson Flint

God's assurance

God has really been assuring me that He wants me to take this opportunity to go to Japan. =) through various things...

1. He has miraculously provided the funds that i need. mel very generously bought the ticket with his frequent flyer miles points, so that i had only around $750 to rasie. and through various pple, i have raised about $600 thus far. =)

God really picked and chose each supporter for this trip. some are old supporters, and i am so touched that they would give that extra amount to bless me. some of them i know are supporting many staff, and so that they would take out a bit more to give for thie trip also means a lot to me. and lastly, some are friends that i have not really kept in touch with over the years, but whom i sent my newsletter to. because i believe that God will work in the hearts of those He has prepared to give. and some of these have also come forward to give. and it's also a good chance to catch up with them! =)

so i am really grateful...

2. I ran into a missionary at mel's church on sunday. He's from Japan! and he knows my uncle, who served there for over 10 years. it was good to be reminded of the great need there.

3. i have managed to find my list of contacts from my previous trip there, and some of them are free and keen to meet up! i can't wait to meet them! some are Christians, and i hope to be an encouragement to them. some are still waiting... still not sure etc... i hope that i may speak God's truth into their lives, but also just be a friend to them. =)

4. my friend gave me this verse yesterday, on a card together with her support. it really really encouraged me, i claim it as my theme verse for this trip:

" I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people, to restore the land and to reassign its desolate inheritances, to say to the captives, 'Come out,' and to those in darkness, 'Be free!'"

- Isaiah 49:8-9


so... 4 days to go! i am so excited!!!

menahem = comforter

God, You are so real

You are so near

Even though I feel like my heart has been cut with a knife

I don't understand why

I don't understand how

I wish people would just understand me

Would not judge me

But God

Thank You

Thank You so much

That You care

That You really understand

That You accept me

That You gently rebuke me

And remind me that everything happens for a reason

So i can learn something from it

So I can grow

I felt alone

So misunderstood

But You know me

Completely

Thank You

You love me so much

You comforted me

You saw my tears

And You cried with me

You are amazing, God

How far I fall short!

And yet. You choose to love me

And I feel loved.

It is well with my soul =)