aw... so sweet!

hee... mel gave me a flower yesterday =) i was really so touched cos i know he wanted to surprise me =) he came to have dinner with me in band room, cos the Void guitarists came down to figure out parts with me.

it's a pretty pink rose...

i'll let it thrive in water for another day, then i'll attempt to dry it. heh heh...

a new friend.

i made a new friend. well, more like an acquaintance for now. =) really amazed at how God 'connected' us, and allowed our paths to cross!

anyways, he did a superb job on his school project (which is how we met). you can view his work "a story of me" (my own title for it =b) from the links on the left. enjoy!

God doesn't need me

today's sermon reminded of this fact. God really doesn't need anyone.

sometimes we tend to get to caught up in how we are sacrificing time and effort for God, and stepping out of our comfort zones, and taking bold steps by 'faith' in Him, that we think too highly of ourselves. like "Wow God, see i'm doing so much for You. please don't forget =)"

but really, God doesn't need me or you to do anything for Him. After all, He is the God who created the universe, who fashioned man in His own image, who stills the raging seas and makes the snow fall, who watches over the smallest sparrow and the largest elephant, who gives all life and breath to you and me, who knows the deepest desires and failings of our hearts...

it was humbling to be reminded of this fact. that really all i am, and all we can be, are willing vessels for God to work through. we don't work FOR God, but God works THROUGH us.

what a privilege! what a miracle that the most Holy One can make filthy worthless vessels clean and useful. =)

btw my mom got this chalk that's supposed to keep roachies away. i shall try it out this week. ha!

the end of another week =)

it's been a good week.

work-wise, i've been pretty fruitful =) managed to get alot done despite limited time and energy.

melvyn-wise, we got to spend an evening together at holland v =) so that was really nice too... nice to just talk and catch up and eat yummy vietnamese food! hee... he's so sweet. heh

and then... home-wise, i enjoyed the times spent eating breakfast with the gals... they're really nice and encouraging and it's good to share abt how we're doing emotionally and spiritually.

lastly, support-wise, God has been SO good. allowing me to meet up with different friends, despite everyone being so busy, and to be so so encouraged by their sharing, and by their willingness to support me in prayer or finance! it's really amazing seeing how He provided divine opportunities for me to share. even when people can't give me financially, i feel refreshed and encouraged through hearing what God is doing in their lives.

tomorrow nite is the cuzzie gathering... i'm qutie excited! i will cooking black pepper chicken with capsicum and mango =D heh... my first attempt! hope it turns out yummy... =b hee

k gtg rehearse for Void now.

a fruitful rehearsal

we had a fruitful rehearsal today. just grace and me, and sharon came in to help us out at certain parts too =) ironed out two songs worth of vocal arrangements. so i feel... accomplished. satisfied.

hmmm...

i have this rash on my face. i don't like it. it's either a silly insect bite or i'm allergic to my furry blanket or... i dunno.. =( oh well... i hope it goes away SOON.

on a happier note, mel and i are going out tonite! yay, he is back. hee...

and tomorrow is FR prayer retreat the whole day. i dunno quite what to expect, cos i've never been in a prayer retreat the WHOLE day. so, a mixture of excitement and apprehension. heh heh... but trust God that it will be a great day spent with Him and with each other...

and the weekend is coming! =) heh heh heh

thanking God

i thank God... for killing that roach before i saw it.

i thank God... for so many divine appointments that He has enabled me to have over this past month of support raising.

i thank God... for His provision of faithful supporters and prayer warriors.

i thank God... for the meetings i have in the next two weeks, and for the hearts that i know only He can prepare.

i thank God... for a fruitful day of work. i finished arranging 2 songs and had vox rehearsal with grace.

i thank God... for the time of prayer and praise among my house gals. it really refreshed me and reminded me to turn my eyes on Him and trust Him.

i thank God... for always being here with me.

i thank God... for really knowing me so intimately!

i thank God... for a family that loves me and that loves Him.

i thank God... for mel.

i thank God for the delicious meal that i learnt too cook tonight. liting and i were chefs for the day, or rather she was chef and i was trainee. i learnt to cook fried egg, french beans and black pepper chicken. 3 dishes in one day! only $2.50 per person for 5 of us.

* * *

i thank God... that He understands all my fears...

if you're walking through the valley

and there are shadows all around

do not fear

He will guide you

He will keep you SAFE AND SOUND

He has promised to NEVER LEAVE YOU

nor forsake you

and His Word is true!

God is good all the time

He put a song of praise in this heart of mine

God is good all the time

through the darkest night His light will shine

God is good

God is good all the time!

though i may not understand

all the plans You have for me

my life is in Your hands

and through the eyes of faith i can clearly see!

God is good. =)

eew....

gross.

there was a dead cockroach in the toilet.

yup, it's week 2 here at GC. i returned this morning to find that thing on the bathroom floor. thank God it was dead. but still, i didn't have the guts to pick that creature up. so brave peiyu did =)

urgh...

i'm just really grossed out.

i sprayed the whole bed and my desk and the kitchen area and the toilet and the main door and all the window ledges...

please God, please please continue to protect me from all roachies and stuff like dat. amen.

* mel is coming back tomorrow =)

by the way...

just fyi, i did not buy the dress. =b cos it costs too much. haha... just wanted to share my joy at finding such a beautiful creation =) hee... anyone want to buy for me? =b (just kidding lah)

a beautiful dress

as promised, i shall describe my beautiful dress IN THE COMFORT OF MY OWN HOME!!! finally...

heh

ok it's a knee length concoction of black silk and chiffon. think scarlett johansson. heh... the neckline is like a wrap, with a high sash that ties behind. all black. and underneath that layer of translucent silk, there's another layer of turquoise cloth, so u see shades of it through the black. =)

the neckline is framed by dark green sequins. the sleeves are cap-shaped, but fluttery cos the cloth is so filmy and light!

it makes me feel pretty and sophisicated =)

i love it. but i am reminded that God loves me so much more than i love the dress =) that's such a nice thought.

T.G.I.F.

thank God it's Friday!

not that it's been an awful week. in fact it's been pretty good. i feel blessed that God has been answering even the smallest of prayer, the silliest of prayers! like protecting me from roaches and spiders, helping me to calculate budgets when i go shopping, and giving me the strength to cope with work.

in the midst of it, support raising appointments have really encouraged me too. as i share with my friends what i am doing, whether or not they support, i feel a sense of joy and wonderment that God has given me this privilege to combine my passions and talents in my work, and to see Him work, and to have a more tangible taste of dependance on God.

and i am amazed, too, at how He has been watching over each one of my friends. how He has brought them on their own journeys of self discovery, frustration, joys, struggles, pain... it comforts me to hear and see that He is preparing many of them for life after graduation, and causing them to begin their own search for His will in their life.

well, today is gonna be a short work day. because i have to leave earlier to go for a medical appointment in the afternoon. so, looking forward to being home, seeing my family, and celebrating my brother's birthday - we are having a bbq at gran's =D

later on... hee hee... i will be back to blog about this beautiful beautiful dress that i saw at holland v yesterday. i had been mtg a supporter for lunch, and then we had time to spare before she had to go back, so we walked aroound the shops, and i saw THE DRESS, ha! ok, but more on that later. got to go work now!! =)

mel is flying off

mel is flying to china for business. please pray for his safety and for a fruitful time there, as he is hoping to wrap up one of the company's projects.

yesterday we had a nice supper at the prata place near NUS. i tried tomato, onion and mushroom prata. =D heh heh... then went for a nice drive round kent ridge park, and then spent some time praying for each other. it somehow felt special to be praying with him for the first time since i knew with certainty that i was accepted on staff. it's like now my life direction for the next few years are kind of decided.

i am so thankful that he was one of the people that supported and encouraged me as i was struggling with this decision.

and it will be 6 months next week! =)

the third day

today is my third day since staying in at GC began. it's not too bad...

i've been religiously and faithfully spraying baygon everywhere and everytime i think about the roaches. and God has been so merciful thus far =)

the gals are fun too. yesterday we went to ikea to get some stuff for the place. i got a cushion (to fill the cushion cover my aunty cross-stitched for me) and we also got a shoerack for all to use. then we went to cold storage nearby our place and stocked up on breakfast stuff. because everyone has really different tastes and preferences, we're getting our own stuff, and labelling it in the fridge =) but we're sharing the milo, tea and coffee packs.

i got enuff for 3 weeks:

2 cans ayam brand tuna
1 roll digestives
2 koka curry chicken cup noodles
5kg seedless green grapes
1 box post honey nut crunch
2 packs paul's milk
1 pack orange juice
1 jar low-fat skippy peanut butter

so.... that should last me at least 3 weeks =) yay!

i just came back from a jog with liting. it was good to finally exercise again (hee hee i've been lazy...). after coming back, we swept and mopped (3x!!!) the kitchen and she taught me to wash rice and how much to put for porridge. we are making minced pork and fishcake porridge for breakfast for the girls! so now the rice is cooking away, the fish cake is sliced (by ME) and we are going to bathe. =)

all in all, this is not as bad as i thought. i do miss my family and my familiar room, and knowing that this is gonna be 9 months is quite sobering. but at least for now, it's ok.

thank You God.

i am not cut out to do sales

humid and sweaty and sticky and frustrating - my day in a nutshell.

ok it wasn't TOO bad, cos i was in the company of nice friends. but still... it was horrible weather to be having a bazaar. business wasn't good cos i think the organisers didn't publicise enough. no shelters provided the whole day. and the rain kept stopping and starting.

at one point, the four of us were crouched in a little play tent that one of the girls had (thank God!) somehow decided to bring. we nearly suffocated for half an hour before the rain slowed down. heh

hmmm...

but i have to be thankful for the $35 i earned =) so after minusing rent ($3.50) and shopping from other stalls ($11) i earned about $20 =) yay.

but this whole experience has helped me really empathise with the pasar malam sellers that we so often see around. i used to get offended when they acted all grouchy and wouldn't give me further discounts, but now i know how they feel. poor things... i so sympathise... =(

hmmm... so. ya. i can't do sales man...

tomorrow is the beginning of my 9 months of stay-in.

august newsletter uploaded. see link on the left =)

God will provide

this morning i had a really good time with a friend who's supported me for the past year. she invited me over for brunch =) and i was really happy to hear that she reads my blog! =D muahaha..

anyway she cooked a really simple but yummy spaghetti and salad meal, and i really enjoyed the time we spent catching up on our lives. thing is, i haven't really talked to her that much before, so it was good to have that chance. i was so encouraged that she will continue to be my prayer warrior as i go full time. =)

also experienced some other highs and lows today.

high: a few friends have indicated that they will be giving me one time gifts

low: i counted my monthly support and realised that i am still about $800 monthly short.

* lesson learnt: God provides in His own ways in His own time. why should i be any less thankful for the one time gifts i have received (btw i AM AM AM immensely grateful to you for your one time gifts) and hanker after the more 'stable' monthly support? I think God reminded me, as i was walking the 10 minutes to tampines mrt, that He is really providing.

just that i may not see the results i desire at this point in time. He showed me that, through the one-time gifts, i have in fact raised me first month's salary, and that is a HUGE DEAL and something that amazed me.

so, please pray with me as i continue to trust God to provide for my needs in the months and years to come. He who has called me is faithful. And yet, His ways are higher than my ways.

* * *


BRIEF BUT IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:

a few friends and i are renting a stall at a bazaar tomorrow. whole day, from 9am. at katong park (diagonally opposite republic theatre - the old cinema at parkway parade.)

clothes

accessories

bags

home decor

shoes (maybe?)

CHEAP!!!

come lah =b

moving in day

today i moved my stuff over to my 'home away from home' for the next 9 months.

i woke up and felt all these mixed feelings about the day ahead. i sill do actually (have those mixed feelings) now...

excited about being really on my own and living with a bunch of really nice gals and learning to cook and kill insects.

fear about those DRATTED roaches. really, i am petrified. believe me.

sadness that my family will be left behind, after my brother goes into NS, my parents will be alone.

... you get the picture.


anyways, mel was real sweet and took the morning off to drive me over with all my stuff. he really knows how emotional i am feeling about this whole thing. anyways, that was nice of him. we had a bit of time to have breakfast (prata!) opposite before the rest arrived.

the morning was spent vacuuming, mopping, wiping, spraying and unpacking. whew! tiring work, but thank God for the great weather that made it bearable =)

i think my desk is the prettiest!!! haha... (oops) at least for now, cos i'm the only one who properly unpacked desk stuff so far - the rest were focused more on unpacking their clothes first i think =b hee... i have rainbow stars hanging above my desk! =) hee... so that made the morning more fun.

still... feel sad still...

hmmm.

but the gals are really cool. hence my mixed feelings lah.

k anyways... in the afternoon, we had a kind-of brainstorm session for my new project - an acapella band!

a bit too much info to digest tonight, but got stuff to ponder and chew on over the next few days i guess.


watch this space for my next newsletter!!! =) coming up... SOON.

stuff happens...

hmmm... it's the end of a long weekend.

most of it was really nice =) i got to spend quality time with melvyn, met up with a few supporters, attended my NTU crusade alumni dinner and met up with ngam (my acapella group)!

there were a few trying moments though. family communication isn't wonderful. although i do thank God for my loving and wise parents... it's sometimes so hard to love in the same unconditional way that He loves me. sigh... i feel quite wretched sometimes... but i think God understands, and is slowly guiding me thru these times...

love keeps no record of wrongs. (true) love never fails.

how great is our God!

haven't blogged for a few days. too much to tell. i'll try...

1. interview with ccc panel to apply for full-time

>>> SUCCESS! =D

thank God for giving me courage even as i went for the intervew. it was a good time of sharing. i feel that i was as honest as i can be, and i threw out the all important question of whether i can marry outside of ccc (used to be the spouse has to be from crusade) - and i can! =) so that's good news too...

2. support raising

after my interview, the staff helped me work out how much i will need to raise. it's a total of $2807 monthly! that's about 1200 more than what i am raising now, so quite daunting news. the reason why i have to raise so much more is to pay for training fees, rent (i will stay in for the 9-months duration of training) and to be able to support my family a bit financially too.

over the past three days, God has been so faithfully bringing people across my path that are willing to support or consider supporting me. people i haven't talked to in ages! it is really so amazing to be so blessed, and it's also great opportunities for me to share my ministry with people as i meet up with them.

as i continue to raise my support, i would greatly appreciate your prayers! and if God leads you to give, please drop me a note too!

3. scrapbook

my CSU scrapbook is finally complete! after almost a week of hard labour. heh... i must say, it looks pretty good for a first try =) heh heh...

4. garage sale

next sunday, karen and i are gonna have a booth at a fair at parkway. the open area outside the old theatre i think. we're planning to have a garage sale of old clothes, bags, shoes, books, and more! it's just a small stall (one table) but if you're free, do come down to look see =) heh...

5. happy birthday lisa!!! today is lisa anderson's birthday =) so a very blessed birthday to a super mom.

6. packing begins

i have begun packing the stuff that i will bring when i move into GCTC. it's a bit overwhelming to decide what to pack and how to pack etc, it's a pretty sad experience for me to be moving out. at the same time, there's excitement about what it will be like. i don't quite know how to feel yet... but i thank God for my parents' understanding and support =)

it's only 7am. sigh

yeah this jet-lag thing is still not resolved. heh... but thank God that i still get enuff sleep. i just feel really tired at about 10pm so i go sleep. and then i find myself wide and awake at 5am. heh...

so i guess i will have to try forcing myself to sleep later so that i can wake up later too. heh...

hmmm... i was really so SO encouraged and touched last night, when my brother gave me a one-time gift towards me support. WOW! Lord, i am so amazed. thank You for blessing me and him in this way. i was so touched by his gift, and i didn't even ask him!

yesterday, as i was making many appointments for the next few weeks, i was also very encouraged when some people responded so quickly. i know it is God who have been moving and convicting them to give to my ministry, and it really amazes me how God is truly so sovereign and in control, and is assuring me that He will provide for my needs!

today i'm mtg jamie for dinner =) good catch up time too... and i'm excited about showing (off) my pics! hee...

the weekend is packed with meetings with friends and supporters. but most importantly, my staff interview is THIS FRIDAY, 130pm AT HQ. heh... i pray and hope all goes well, and excited about the next phase of life! =)

this song was led by sharon yesterday during our weekly forerunner touchpoint. it really encouraged me so much and expressed how i feel at this point in time. sharing it with you...

i will bless the Lord forever

i will trust Him at all times

He has delivered me from all fear

He has set my feet upon the rock

I will not be moved

and i'll say of the Lord:

"You are my shield, my strength

my portion, delieverer

my shelter, strong tower

my very present help in time of need!"


whom have i in heaven but You

there's none i desire beside You

You have made me glad

and i'll say of the Lord:

"You are my shield, my strength

my portion, delieverer

my shelter, strong tower

my very present help in time of need!"


*made me glad - hillsongs

back to my cozy little corner...

... in the forerunner office!!! =D yay... it's good to be back and see all my favourite things around me here... like photos of my mission trips, and my teddy bear... and the comforting clutter of mail to be read and papers to be stowed away... er somewhere =b heh heh

it's gonna be a busy busy BUSY month! we have so much to do and plan. it's all a bit scary and overwhelming to think of it! =b heh... but exciting too. =)

gtg WORK now.

backache... and lessons on love

yeah... *groan* backache from spending the whole morning hunched over my scrapbook. i got so engrossed in it, i didn't remember to stretch in between pages. so now my spine feels all achy... heh. but my book looks beautiful!!! muahahaha =D

this morning i was reminded of how hard it is to love. reason i was reflecting on this was cos i was analysing why i feel kind of different when mel and i went out yesterday. i was trying to evaluate my feelings. like i thought very long and i realise i definitely still like him so much... but maybe i've been apart for a while, so it feels like i have so much i wanna share, but i can't put it into words, or rather it will take a lot of energy to put it into words, and i'm simply lazy...

and another factor, and parallel i see in my relationship with God, is that i'm too comfortable sometimes. short of taking for granted or assuming that everything is perfect... i guess i feel safe, and sometimes that can lead to, again, laziness. or just going with the flow. not cherishing each moment for how precious it can be!

i repent.

relationship is hard work. love is a choice. i can't surf through my relationships waiting for others to love me - i have to love others too! i have to be proactive.

i want to treasure each quiet time, each date with mel, each meeting with my supporters and friends, as a special event. to really love each person and look for ways to bless them. Help me to be always mindful that every moment, every encounter is a blessing from above!